What I Hate

Girls who...

1. are afraid of everything around them.
2. can't be satisfied with where they are...EVER.
3. parade into a bar only to turn around and walk right back out.
4. parade in and out of five bars only to walk right back out of each one....into the cold weather.
5. ask the bartender if he'll pour shots for you and your friends on the house before you ever buy a drink from him.
6. insist on finding a guy that you met at the beginning of the night even though you don't have his number or know which bar he went to when he left yours.
7. ask you what you want to do and then do exactly the opposite.
8. ask a guy to take a picture of both of you DURING a play at an NFL game.
9. yell, "c'mon guys...score a touchdown or something" at the NFL team (cause I think they know what the objective is.)

It was a good weekend. Can you tell?

Luck be an old lady

So the other day at the gym, I was doing my normal weight routine. Nothing new, nothing fancy. Suddenly, in the middle of my thirty-third squat, I felt a sharp cramping pain in the upper middle of my back. It was sudden and then, as quickly as it came, it went away. I, of course, ignored the momentary pain and kept going. Then yesterday when I wanted to get out of bed, I could hardly move. My back hurt so bad that my neck was stiff and consequently, my head was throbbing. While I was gingerly trying to get dressed, I went to carry the laundry basket across the room and was paralyzed by the pain in my back. Really, paralyzed. I couldn't move and it almost felt like I couldn't breathe. (Any doctors out there who want to provide a diagnosis?) I was informed by a co-worker that I probably threw my back out. When I told my students that I hurt my back, the first comment was, "But you're not even that old." Well, apparently I am because I'm shuffling around now since it hurts to walk.

Oh, and did I mention that I was preparing for a trip to the hospital on Saturday because I was convinced that I was having a heartattack. Seriously. I was giving my sister the details of when the pain started and what it felt like so that when she had to rush me to the hospital, she could give the doctors all the pertinent information. One has to worry about these things as they begin to advance in age.

And, if you're laughing at me for being a hypochondriac, remember that they say that laughter is the best medicine. So really my diseases are saving your life. Or something like that.

Hey...how you doin'?

What do you do when you're at a concert, trying to enjoy the show, but feeling a creepy sixty year old man encroaching upon your space? Well, my solution this past Saturday night was to ask a younger, cuter guy to stand behind me to shield me from the creepy old man. But, then what do you do when that younger, cuter guy is so drunk that every three minutes he breathes into your ear the words, "how you doin'?" I solved that problem first by reminding him that he had already asked me that question, then when that didn't work, I just smiled so that he would still serve as a barrier between me and the creepy guy.

But, what do you do when the guy who's your shield tells you that his friend wants you? I responded by asking what grade we were in and why his friend wasn't talking to me of his own accord. What do you do, then, when the guy gets mad at you for talking to the friend with whom he was trying to set you up? I gave up at that point. There's no way to solve that problem. So, I smiled at the first guy and said "how you doin'?"