Thursday, March 31, 2005

Raise Plow

While in New York City at the beginning of this week, my stepmom A and I came to the corner of Fifth Avenue and 52nd. We saw the orange color of a construction sign on which was written "Raise Plow." Without any recitation of these words or consultation on the meaning of the phrase, we both said (outloud and at the same time) "drop trou." We did not, however, have to do so to score free drinks at the Oak Room in the Plaza (where, we were told, all of the high class hookers hang out). That story is still to come.

Just remember...when in doubt, raise the plow and drop the trou. I'm not really sure what that means, but it sounds like a philosophical (or sexual) statement worth repeating.

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Old News

Last night I had three old moments (and a really bad case of the hiccups, but that's neither here nor there). I had dinner with a girl that I coached in rowing a few years back. She's 19 and studying at American, so we meet up every now and then. I asked her how she liked her internship and she responded that most of the people that she worked with were old. When I asked exactly how old, she responded that they were 28-ish. As a 24-year-old (soon to be 25,which also means that I qualify for the old person's automobile discount), this made me feel like I was approaching the old mark. Then, as we were trying to identify the Chinese year in which we were born, it occurred to me that the kids that I'm teaching were born in the 90's. As one who avoids math at all costs, this is not something that I had thought about previously. I remember the 90's clearly. I'm old.

But, perhaps the most telling moment occurred as I got onto the Metro. After locating the perfect seat, I grabbed onto one of the poles and swung myself into the seat. My dinner friend said, "Wow, you're really good at that. You must have had practice." And I responded, "yeah, did you like my 'Singin' in the Rain' move?" Her response: "Actually, I was thinking pole dancing, but if you want to take it in that direction, sure." When faced with comments about poles, I no longer go straight for the sexual innuendo, but instead for the 1950's movie references.

And, just now, as I tried to finish this post, I found that I had to call E to tell me what my third old moment was. He pointed out that the phone call had just become "old moment number four." I am aging rapidly, but I'm still doing the crossword puzzles to ward off the Alzheimer's. I'll keep you posted on the benefits...if I can remember.