How you know you're a schmuck

I'm a schmuck. Yes, it's true. Yesterday I was talking to one of my very best friends, L, on the phone. I thought that something sounded weird in her voice. She didn't seem like she wanted to strike up any kind of conversation with me and the questions that I asked her were only answered with few words. I found myself wondering why she had called initially if she didn't want to talk. I thought, "we haven't talked lately, I can't have done something to upset her." Then I found out that her boyfriend was over, so I thought, maybe they are having issues that she can't talk about since he's sitting next to her. I didn't want to ask the question, though, because cell phones don't always guarantee the most private of conversations, plus she couldn't answer my questions fully anyway. Well, after several minutes of this and of my thinking that I just wanted to get off the phone and out of the uncomfortable conversation, she says "C wants me to ask you when you're going to say happy birthday to me."

Can you say "oh schmuck?" Because that's almost exactly what I was thinking, except with some different consonants. Um yeah. In the friend department, I pretty much suck. So, the reason that I've willingly admitted my shortcomings on this blog is because I need some good advice about how to make it up to her. I need something really, really, really good. Like, "I bought a plane ticket to come home and see you" good. Except that I'm not sure that will work, because she probably has no interest in seeing me. It was THAT bad. Oy!